4 Revealing Questions to Figure Out if You’re Dating Someone Abusive

When single people decide to date, they often enter into the experience with nothing but good intentions.  Unfortunately, not all people in this world are equally as innocent or kindhearted.  Some are abusive.  And it’s easy to get trapped in a toxic relationship if you aren’t careful.  Regardless of how much first-hand experience you’ve had with abuse in the past, it’s important to keep an eye out for red flags as you get involved in the dating scene.

Don’t Bury Your Head in the Sand When Dating

Psychologist/Author Steven Stosny cautions that, “Verbal abuse, and domestic violence are on the rise, especially among young people. The risk of falling into an abusive relationship is greater than ever. There are obvious red flags to avoid in a prospective lover, such as angry, controlling, possessive, jealous, or violent behavior.” Here are a few questions that help to highlight and identify abusive traits in others:

1) Have they ever hit/directed acts of violence towards me?

The most extreme and traumatic form of abuse in romantic relationships is violence.  Violence should never be allowed to happen. Nor should it ever be excused. Period.

2) Do they constantly criticize and point out my flaws?

Abusive people are obsessed with intimidation and a desire to feel in control.  One of the ways they try to accomplish these goals is by finding fault in other people, and discouraging them.

3) Do they keep repeating the same mistakes they apologize for?

Abusive people don’t know how to change their ways.  They have weak consciences.  If someone repeatedly inflicts acts of abuse, in spite of apologizing, that means their abusive nature is stronger than their remorse.

4) Do they lie all the time?

Chronic lying always means that someone is hiding something.  And in the case of abusiveness, it means abusers are trying to hide their true malicious nature.

Conclusion

Dating isn’t some casual game, or a way to pass time.  Dating is a first step towards long-term commitment, or marriage.  This is exactly why dating singles should be careful not to ignore signs of abuse in prospective partners.  When it comes to love and romance, abuse should never be allowed to take root and steal your joy.

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